AFTERNOON TEA AT MALMAISON BRIGHTON EXPERIENCE DAYS REVIEW

Garry and I were recently invited to brighten up a drizzly Tuesday with a luxurious afternoon tea at Malmaison, Brighton.

Situated right on the waterfront, Malmaison offers unparalleled views of the marina, with floor-to-ceiling windows and a terrace for seating on sunny days - of which this was not one!

Garry and I hopped on a bus and arrived at the hotel at 3pm. Entering through the reception, we were immediately struck by the contemporary interiors, which were offset by quirky, retro decorations. There was even a ‘reading room’ to the right of the reception which looked like something straight out of Mad Men – minus Jon Hamm brooding in the corner and sipping a scotch, of course.

As we entered the hotel we were greeted by the friendly receptionists on duty, and Sophie, who had organised our afternoon tea for us. We were then shown to the best seat in the house: a big, squashy sofa with a long table in front overlooking the terrace. On this particular day, the outdoor seating had been put away, but even the gloomy drizzle couldn’t dampen the unspoiled view of the marina, with the water stretching out underneath us and birds flying overhead. 

We put in our order: one vegan afternoon tea for myself, and traditional for Garry (...although we'd soon learn this was actually a very non-traditional afternoon tea.) Starting with drinks, I ordered a peppermint tea, while the tea-averse Garry went for a Diet Coke. We spent a relaxing few minutes lounging on the sofa, chatting and looking out at the view, as the inner-life of the hotel bustled around us. After a short wait, the afternoon teas arrived. They were served on a modern twist on the classic cake stand, a cool black granite colour. You could tell by looking that these weren't your average afternoon teas. 

I started with the savoury layer, because I was so excited to see a mini vegan burger slider. The patty wasn't the standard bean burger, but a real 'Moving Mountains' patty which looked and tasted exactly like meat! The bun was soft and the filling had just the right amount of lettuce and tomato. I could have eaten 100 of them, but that would kind of negate the appeal of afternoon tea. 

Garry's 'traditional' afternoon tea featured the meat equivalent to my vegan burger, which he said was delicious. We cheated a little bit on the traditional "savoury, scones, sweet" running order of afternoon tea by following up our burgers with something from the sweet layer: fruit shakes! After all, burgers and shakes are a classic combination. Both our shakes were served in adorable little milk bottles with straws, a cute way to present a slightly healthier option. (Although, afternoon tea is not really about being healthy!)

Next on the menu were some grilled flat-breads with chunky tomato houmous. Anyone who knows vegans will know we subsist on houmous (and self-righteous pretentiousness, of course.) I appreciated the garlic element of the houmous had not been skimped on, and devoured this part of the meal pretty quickly. To complete the savoury layer, a VEGAN FETA - yes, you read that right, in case the capitals didn't help, VEGAN FETA - wrap with grilled vegetables and pesto. It really reminded me of the toasted mozzarella and pesto paninis I used to enjoy before I cut out meat and dairy... those were the days... 

The rest of Garry’s savoury layer consisted of a coronation chicken mini-baguette, a vegetable and feta wrap (the dairy equivalent to my vegan version), and a beautifully presented prawn cocktail. I thought this was a great way to mix up traditional favourites with more innovative, unusual choices. 

Next, onto the vegan scones. I really appreciated that Malmaison had included plant-based scones in their vegan afternoon tea, as they’re not always easy to come by! I tucked straight in with a big spoonful of raspberry jam while Garry enjoyed his traditional scones with jam and clotted cream. 

Finally, we moved onto the sweet layer. Although I was already very full, I notice there is always a secret second-stomach for pudding – which is just as well, as there was plenty to go around! My sweet layer featured a passionfruit and poppy seed macaron, an orange and pistachio financier, vegan Battenburg (!!!), a chocolate brownie cake, and of course the mixed berry shake I had already devoured. 

Meanwhile Garry had a coffee and walnut cake, frangipane Bakewell tart, a GIANT raspberry Viennese whirl and - star of the show - a seasonal fruit shake! Garry remarked that his shake tasted like the Jamba Juice smoothies he buys when he's in America. The whole afternoon tea definitely had an American twist on the classic British meal, which was a nice change from the usual. 

Full, satisfied and happy, we sipped our tea (or Diet Coke, in Garry's case), snacked on the remains of our meals, and watched the view of the marina from our seat by the window. Our drizzly afternoon was successfully brightened! 

Mother's Day is coming up, and I for one don't know where my mum is going to put another orchid in her house - there's only so much shelf space. The best gifts don't take up space, so instead of making your mum's house look and smell like a florist, why not gift her with a memory instead? Make her feel like the special person she is with a luxurious afternoon tea in cool and contemporary surroundings, featuring incredible views of the marina and friendly, efficient service. I can't think of a better gift for Mother's Day, and the great news is everybody's catered for, with vegan, vegetarian and gluten-free options available. It'd be rude not to, really... 

We’d like to say a huge thank you to Sophie and the fabulous team at Malmaison Brighton for our delicious afternoon tea. I'd highly recommend this experience to anyone looking for a special afternoon out in Brighton - vegans and meat-eaters alike!